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A woman close to me is getting married soon.
And it occurred to me, she'll have another big decision to make ... Will she adopt her husband's surname, after the big event?
When I married back in the dark ages (1998), I decided to keep my name. Taking my husband's name never occured to me as a sensible option. What a silly idea!
After all, for the past 20-something years, people knew me as Michelle Prak. To the girls I'd been to school with: Michelle Prak. To the teachers who'd proudly watched my progress: Michelle Prak. My university lecturers, my employers: Michelle Prak. And also: I had been published under the name "Michelle Prak" countless times.
Why would I want to disconnect myself from that, and start all over again?
My husband David was fine with the decision. He always understood. But I was stunned to see my friends - same era as me - opt to take their husband's surnames when they married. I couldn't see the sense (and couldn't abide the paperwork).
The reason often cited? It was "for the children". They wanted to have the same surname. But having been raised in a step-family, with at least three different surnames in the house, I knew in the end that didn't matter. Anyone important to you, soon sorts out the different names in your household.
I also had another compelling reason: there aren't many Praks in the world. At least, not in my Dutch branch of the family. I had to keep the name going, if only for my lifetime ...
It's taken stamina. The name 'Prak' isn't easy. I've been called 'Pratt', 'Prik' and even 'Duck'. [Duck? What the?]
But it's a nice and easy signature ....
What are your thoughts?
I would take my husband's surname because I don't identify myself as a surname. But it is a personal decision and I don't think that it matters all that much. I'd prefer keeping my surname than taking on both and creating a hyphenated one. Also since you've been published under your surname then I think it makes sense to keep yours.
i couldnt quite bear to give up my name (same reasons stated by you), but at the same time i felt it would be weird to be called Mrs and sound like my mother instead of my husband's wife. So I complicated life further and put them both together. Now that I've gotten used to using both, it's great. I use a verrrrry short form of the name for my signature though!!!